I have officially been at training camp for one week now, and honestly, it has been an emotional rollercoaster and nothing like I could have ever imagined.

In just one week, I’ve grown so close to my teammates, learned to worship the Lord in complete freedom, become more vulnerable, started breaking the chains of lies I’ve believed about myself, felt closer to God than ever before through hearing His voice and feeling His Holy Spirit, and been really homesick. I’ve cried, laughed, rejoiced, been in shock, and learned to love people I’ve only known for a few days.

It has been overwhelming, beautiful, challenging, difficult, and so very good for me.

And somehow, I have already grown so much in Christ, and I haven’t even left for my first country yet.

For those of you who don’t know, training camp is in Gainesville, Georgia. We sleep in tents, wash our laundry in buckets, have sessions about the Gospel and missions, worship the Lord every day, and spend lots of time getting to know the squad of people we will be spending the next nine months with. It gets hot and sticky every day, and there is definitely a lot of information being thrown at us. Some of it has been so helpful, while other times I feel like my brain is completely overwhelmed!

But even though training camp has been about learning what this next season will look like, I don’t just want to talk about what training camp is. I want to share a little more about what God has been teaching me and some of the things I have been struggling with.

Coming here and meeting my squad of 22 people was honestly pretty intimidating for me. I’m introverted, and many people here are very extroverted. So many of them have such strong faith and incredible experiences with God, and at times I have found myself comparing my relationship with the Lord to theirs.

I’ve felt inadequate.

I’ve wondered if I’m really equipped for this.

I’ve even had thoughts that maybe God made a mistake by leading me into overseas missions when I’ve never even left the country or brought someone to Christ before.

But then I was pointed to 2 Peter 1:3:

“By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence.”

This verse has given me so much peace and reminded me of something very important: God never makes mistakes. I don’t need to rely on my own skills to make a difference on this mission. I simply have to obey and let the Holy Spirit work in and through me.

God will do the hard part of making me useful for His Kingdom. I just have to follow Him wherever He leads and share the love of Christ that He has put in me with others. I can’t save people by sharing the Gospel. Only the Holy Spirit can work in someone’s heart and bring them to Jesus. I get to share Jesus with people and love on them, but I can’t do God’s miraculous work. That is such a comfort when I don’t feel like I am good enough!

I am also learning how to find more of my identity in Christ. Colossians 3:10 says,

“Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him.”

2 Corinthians 5:17 says,

“This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!”

These verses have challenged me to let go of my past sins, mistakes, and ways of thinking and instead focus completely on Christ, what He has done for me, and who He now calls me to be. I’ve been learning that things like anxiety, fear, and depression don’t and never will define who I am. I am now called a Child of God and Daughter of the Most High! What a gift from the Lord! It has brought me so much freedom, joy, peace, and love in Him.

However, the biggest thing I’ve been struggling with and crying over is how homesick I am.

I miss my family more than I ever thought I could. I often wish I could just sit with them, talk to them, and give them hugs. I knew saying “yes” to the World Race would cost me a lot, but I don’t think I realized just how much it would challenge my heart.

Trying to surrender my family, who I love so, so, so much, has been so difficult. Every day, I have to re-offer my family to the Lord and trust that He will care for them, protect them, and bring me comfort, security, and peace during the times when I miss them the most.

Recently, the Lord brought the first half of Malachi 3:6 to me:

“I am the LORD and I do not change.”

Even though I miss my family and want to hug them and talk to them, God is still my perfect Heavenly Father. He is still the same God who has always loved me, cared for me, and been with me. He brings me what I need even when I can’t be with my family, and I’m learning how to be okay with that.

Being homesick has overwhelmed me at times and has even made me second-guess this calling. But I know that God has a divine purpose for why I am here, and He won’t let my emotions overrule what He has called me to do. He is still with me. His Spirit is in my heart. And nothing will ever take Him from me.

So when the longing for my family overwhelms me, I’m learning to run to God, sit in His arms, and surrender it all over again.

And again.

And again.

I know this season is stretching me and challenging me in ways I never expected, but I also know that God is using it to grow me closer to Him.

Through all of this, I ask that you would continue to pray for me.

Please pray that I would draw closer to the Lord every day, growing in spiritual wisdom and understanding, love, and my relationship with God.

Pray for boldness and courage as I prepare to leave for my first country and that I would share Jesus and His love with everyone I meet.

Please pray that my homesickness wouldn’t overwhelm me and that I would feel peace and confidence when I run to my Heavenly Father.

Pray for safety and health as my team begins traveling, and pray that my whole squad would continue to grow in unity and love for one another.

Finally, please pray for the ministries we will be partnering with, that we would encourage them, serve them, and build them up. Pray for the unbelievers and the countries we will be going to, that their hearts would be open to the Gospel and that the Holy Spirit would work in them and draw them closer to God.

Thank you so much for reading, for every prayer, and for supporting me as this trip finally starts for real. I’m so grateful for every person who has encouraged me, prayed for me, and helped me get to this point.