Wow! What a week it has been!

After getting back from domestic ministry, we had a mini debrief and several days of rest before we started making our way to our first country. During those final days at training camp, I found myself becoming both incredibly antsy and nervous to finally go to Greece.

I didn't understand why we had so much time before actually leaving. I just wanted to get going. But as the days went on, I realized that maybe I wasn't as ready as I thought I was.

I started overthinking everything about the trip. Many doubts, anxieties, and feelings of homesickness started rushing over me. I was excited to finally leave, but at the same time, I was scared. I knew that once we left training camp, everything would start feeling much more real.

But now, looking back, I realize that God blessed me with those extra days for a reason.

I got to spend several hours FaceTiming my family and filling my cup before entering a country with a different time zone that would make calling them much more difficult. I got to spend more time with my friends and squadmates. And most importantly, I got to spend more time with God.

During those days, I was brought through a very impactful and convicting devotional on my Bible app called The God Who Transforms: Surrendering Our Control. I highly recommend it to anyone who is looking for spiritual transformation or a new way to look at what it means to live completely surrendered to God.

There were two passages in particular that really stuck out to me: Jeremiah 18:1–6 and Malachi 3:2–3.

In Jeremiah 18, God tells Jeremiah to go to the potter's house. When Jeremiah arrives, he watches as the potter works with a piece of clay. But the potter becomes unsatisfied with the jar he is making, so he crushes it and begins molding it again into something new.

Jeremiah 18:5–6 says:

“‘Can I not do with you, Israel, as this potter does?’ declares the LORD. ‘Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, Israel.’”

That passage immediately reminded me of something I have been learning throughout this journey. If I want to be transformed to reflect Christ and live completely for Him, I have to allow Him to mold me. I have to surrender control. I have to allow Him to break me of my pride, my self-sufficiency, my selfishness, and the identities that I have created for myself. I have to allow Him to take away the things that don't reflect Him and shape me into someone who does.

I've learned that spiritual transformation requires me to allow God to do whatever He wants in my life. And honestly, that sounds scary. The process of being broken and remolded is probably going to hurt. My flesh doesn't naturally want to surrender control. My human instinct is to hold on tightly to what feels comfortable and familiar.

But God is greater than my flesh. And the pain isn't what will remain. The finished work of the Potter is what remains.

Malachi 3:3 says:

“He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; he will purify the Levites and refine them like gold and silver. Then the LORD will have men who will bring offerings in righteousness.”

This verse gives another picture of what God does in us. He refines and purifies us just as gold and silver are refined. He puts us through the fire. And that fire brings things to the surface that need to be removed.

God is going to bring my sinful characteristics, selfish desires, pride, fears, and insecurities to the surface so that He can burn them away. He is transforming me, not to make me a better version of myself, but to make me more like Christ.

Both of these passages have taught me something important about this trip. I am going to go through seasons of breakage and seasons of fire. But God can use those seasons to mold and refine me into someone who looks more like Jesus.

One of the things I have desperately desired throughout this trip, and still desperately desire, is to have a more intimate relationship with God and become more like Christ. When people look at me, I want them to see Jesus. I want them to see His love. I want them to see His character. I want my life to point people toward Him. And being spiritually transformed like clay in the hands of a potter or silver in the hands of a refiner is part of how God is going to accomplish that.

Still, there is something very important I have to remember. This process is going to be challenging. It may hurt. It may make me uncomfortable. And there may even be moments when I question God or wonder why He is allowing me to go through something difficult.

I'm still learning how to worship God through the hard and painful moments. Maybe this is part of how God is teaching me to do that better every single day. And I had a very practical opportunity to learn that lesson during my final days at training camp.

The day before we left for the airport, I really struggled. I was starting to overthink everything again. I missed home so, so much. I was sitting outside crying, overwhelmed by everything I was feeling and thinking about. And then suddenly, the wind picked up.

As I sat there, I felt the Holy Spirit wrap around me. I pictured God's loving face looking down on me and Jesus sitting beside me, holding my hand and reminding me to worship Him through the hardship and struggle.

It brought to mind a verse I memorized two summers ago:

Philippians 4:4 says:

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!”

Paul doesn't say to rejoice when everything is going well. He says to rejoice always. Paul worshipped God while he was in prison. He praised Him in circumstances that were far more difficult than anything I was experiencing sitting outside of training camp crying because I missed home. So if Paul could be confident in the Lord while sitting in prison, then I can be confident in the Lord right where I am, even when I am emotionally overwhelmed.

I can worship Him when I'm happy. I can worship Him when I'm scared. I can worship Him when I'm excited. I can worship Him when I'm homesick. I can worship Him when things are going according to plan. And I can worship Him when they aren't.

I'm learning that Jesus is going to meet me wherever I am, and He is going to walk with me through it. Just like Malachi describes God sitting with us through the refining and purifying process, He isn't a God who leaves us when things become difficult. He is a God who cares so deeply about us that He wants to intimately walk with each and every one of us through every part of our lives. And I think that is something I am going to need to remember a lot over the next nine months.

Eventually, our time at training camp came to an end. We packed up, said our goodbyes, and finally started our journey to Greece.

We had a ten-hour flight to Istanbul, Turkey. Once we arrived, we had a sixteen-hour layover before our next flight. And somehow, our logistics team found a free boat and dinner tour of Istanbul! It was such a beautiful experience and such a fun way to begin our international travels. After everything we had been preparing for, it was surreal to finally be on the other side of the world.

And now, as I write this from Greece, I'm preparing for my first days of ministry and living overseas. It's exciting. It's scary. It's completely new. And it's all for the Lord.

I want to make His glory and His Name known among the nations. I want to share His love and the Good News of Jesus with everyone I can.

But right now, I know God has me in a season of learning. I'm learning to worship Him during both the good and the bad. I'm learning to surrender control. I'm learning to allow Him to transform me. I'm learning to trust Him when I don't understand what He's doing. And I'm learning to walk closely with Him every single day.

I don't know exactly what the next few weeks will look like. I don't know what challenges we are going to face. I don't know what ministry opportunities God is going to put in front of us. I don't know who I'm going to meet or how God is going to use those relationships. But I don't have to know. I just have to trust the One who does.

And before I end this blog, I have some amazing news!

I am fully funded!

All glory and praise to the Lord!

It honestly seems crazy to me that God has provided so much already. When I first started this journey, I knew that fundraising was going to require me to trust Him, but I don't think I fully understood just how faithful He would be.

So I want to personally thank everyone who has given, prayed, encouraged me, shared my fundraising page, or supported me in any way. Every gift has meant so much to me, and none of your generosity has gone unnoticed. Your support is helping make this trip possible and will help impact and expand God's Kingdom through the ministry we get to be a part of.

So thank you.

Thank you so, so much.

I truly can't express how grateful I am for every person who has supported me financially, spiritually, and emotionally throughout this journey.

If you continue to give through my fundraising page, the money will no longer go toward my individual fundraising goal, but will instead go to Adventures in Missions, which is the organization that the World Race is a part of.

And now, as I begin this next chapter, I would specifically ask you to pray for:

• My team and me as we begin our first days of ministry in Greece.

• That each of us would continue growing in Christ and become more like Him.

• That we would be a blessing to our ministry hosts and serve them with humility and joy.

• That God would use us to impact every person we encounter and that the Holy Spirit would be working in the hearts of the people we meet.

• That I would continue surrendering everything to God and worshipping Him through every circumstance.

• That our squad would remain safe, healthy, unified, and focused on Jesus.

• That God would continue refining and transforming each of us into the people He has called us to be.

• That we would make God's glory and His Name known among the nations.

I don't know what this next chapter is going to hold. But I do know who holds it. Maybe God is going to break things in me that need to be broken. Maybe He is going to put me through fires that will refine me. Maybe there will be moments when I am uncomfortable, homesick, scared, or uncertain. But He will be there. And I think that's what He has been teaching me all along. I don't have to be in control. I don't have to know what is coming.

I don't have to understand every part of the process. I just have to surrender. I just have to trust. And I just have to worship Him through it all. Because the Potter knows what He is making. The Refiner knows what He is doing.

And the God who brought me this far isn't going to leave me now.

So Greece, I'm ready. Not because I'm fearless. Not because I know exactly what I'm doing. But because I know Who is going with me.